The Day The World Flipped Over

 

Today was the day that the world flipped over

The sky turned green, and blue was the clover

Everything that was distorted and changed

Things that once were, were now rearranged

 

The cowboys rode turtles around outer-space

Aliens drove street-cars in the Wild West plains

Carpenters used type-writers, Authors used tools

Lifeguards gave flu shots, Doctors guarded pools

 

Children taught school to their moms and dads

Frogs were in trees, birds on lily pads

Cats chased dogs, cheese ate mice

Grandmas were mean and criminals were nice

 

Flowers buzzed around and pollinated bees

Lumberjacks were getting cut down by the trees

We swam on the mountains and climbed all the seas

Rode camels through the snow, and through the dessert we skied

 

We ate ketchup on pancakes and syrup on fries

Pickles on pizza and even in pies

Cheese in our coffee, nachos with mustard

Salt flavored toffee, peppery custard

 

We saw with our ears, and heard through the nose

Felt with our eyes and smelled with our toes

Our tongue still tasted, but not quite completely

Things that were bitter, now tasted sweetly

 

Babies where changing the grown-ups' diapers

Bikes raced on salt flats swishing  wind-shield wipers

Planes drove on streets and cars flew around

Helicopters sailed oceans, boats just laid on the ground

 

We went to bed in the morning, and woke up at night

When we walked in the room, we turned out the lights

We bathed in mud puddles, got dirty in the shower

Minutes were seconds and seconds were hours

 

The sun glowed dimly all through the night

The moon shined brightly and lit up the sky

The rain lifted up from the clouds on the ground

The ocean was still, no waves, no sounds

 

And just like that, the world flipped back over

The sky turned blue, and green was the clover

Everyone did as they normally do

And all was routine again, through and through

 

I can't help but miss that strange universe

When everything switched up and got all reversed

Doing what normally makes little sense

Like camping in houses, and living in tents

 

But planting and apple and eating a seed

That somehow kind of makes sense to me

Or a Dad being mom-like, or a Mom like a Dad

Would be a little bit different, but not all that bad

 

All I know is that a glimpse of change

When everything's backwards, and all rearranged

Makes me think of what I already have

And makes me thankful and comfy and glad.

................

 

 

The Bothersome Calico Weevily Snoops

 

Scienstists have done some new discovering

A force of nature that's always been hovering

But too small to see to the naked eye

These crafty critters... identified

 

You know that feeling when clothes don't fit?

You can't seem to put your finger on it

All day you wiggle to make it feel right

Your pants feel too loose, and also too tight

 

Your shoes feel like there's sand in the bottom

Stray hairs in your shirt, but you can't seem to spot 'em

Your socks feel like they've got bubbly toes

Shoe laces too short to tie in a bow

 

That mysterious nuisance has finally been solved

An animal's all along been involved

And they are to blame for your clothing's distresses

Destroying your shoes, your socks, your dresses

 

When you're asleep, they crawl in your drawers

They sneak through the cracks in your closets' doors

Tightening threads and some they let out

Loosening hems all throughout

 

Some go outside and bring in some dirt

And carefully place it inside your shirt

Positioning hairs in nooks and crannies

In parts of your pants that tickle your fannies

 

They draw out your socks but only a little

An irritant that sets your toes to wiggle

Grains of sand they put in the cracks

That itch at your bum in the seams of your slacks

 

They stretch out the button holes almost twofold

So now all the buttons are too small to hold

They're friends with moths and invite them in

To nibble some holes in your wool cardigan

 

When you awake and start to get dressed

These out of sight devils are at rest in their nest

Leaving the mess of your garbs and apparel

Sending you into a dancing of peril

 

In their analysis, they wanted to know

The reason the beasties bungled your clothes

They found that it's just like how ants makes their hills

Or Bees make honey, and why termites drill

 

The bugs they are feeding off static 'lectricity

Pulling and pawing the nitty the gritty

Charging up fabric to get themselves fed

Working the grind stone will you are in bed

 

So really these insects, they mean you no harm

They have no intent to cause itchy arms

The job that they do is not against you

But simply the work they must carry through

 

Garment malfunctions that make you feel irked

Are caused by a tribe of meddling jerks

Discovered and named by the scientist troop

As the “Bothersome Calico Weevily Snoops.”

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